'Young man,' explained Ronnie patiently, looking at Sylvie with a twinkle in his eye, 'we're both 93 years old and we may not have 45 minutes.' The ma�tre d' seated Ronnie and Sylvie immediately!

There is nothing so funny as real life say Will and Guy.

A German mathematician who died 450 years ago has been sent a letter demanding that he pay for a TV licence.

I definitely wasn't speeding so I asked what the problem was and he told me I was laughing too much.' Will and Guy also laughed at this story and we have discovered since that Mr Saunders has not been prosecuted - just told off. When the paramedics arrived they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. Brenda rushes into the supermarket to pick up a few items. ' The cashier turns looks her up and down for a second, smiles and remarks,' Phwoar, not bad! Hotel Guest: 'Can you give me a room and a bath, please? ' 'I'd just like to know why you can't ring the bell yourself.' IV.

'It was enough to make anybody faint,' he spluttered. She heads for the express checkout where the cashier is busy talking on the phone with his back turned to her. ' Receptionist: 'I can give you a room, but you'll have to take your own bath.' III. A policeman walked over to a parked car and asked the driver if the car was licensed. 'Great, I'll have a pint then.' said the policeman.

A few moments later he noticed a traffic officer flashing his lights at him and gesticulating at him to stop his Renault.

When Mr Saunders got out of his car, the policeman castigated him, 'Laughing while driving a car can be an offence.' 'I couldn't believe it when he told me I'd been pulled over for laughing,' Mr Saunders is reported as saying, 'I was driving very safely in the Birkenhead Tunnel and took a call.

Gary Saunders, a motorist from Liverpool, England, was stopped by a traffic police officer and reprimanded for laughing at the wheel of his car.

He was using a hands-free 'phone when he burst out laughing at a joke told him by his brother-in-law.

Miss Muench returned the letter to the GEZ with a note explaining the request had come too late, as Ries had died in 1559, but she still received a reminder a few weeks later.

This was not the first time the GEZ had sent a bill to those in the afterlife.

' 'Well, as a matter of fact, yes,' came Sally's reply and she added confidently, 'I've been divorced three times.' Ranjit was in the express lane at his local Wal-Mart supermarket quietly fuming.