I found myself in some type of identity crisis for years.

After seeking answers from spiritual guides, church, praying, counseling, etc., I still do not know how to let this go completely. I have finally told myself not seek answers from anywhere else and just wait on God to come through and bring me a peace that only he can give.

By the time I was 19 years old, both my mother and father were gone.

My father from an accident and my mother from a heart attack. You see this man loved my daddy like a brother and vice versa. He claims my mother was supposed to tell me but I guess she died before she could. Time will tell how this plays out, but I it just stays on my mind constantly. Every time I feel any kind of guilt my husband reminds me of the goal and I am not the cause nor the blame of the situation, we just need our moms help and honestly to heal.

This site is great and helps us all through these scenarios.

Hugs, Traci At 52 years old, I recently got the shock of a lifetime.

For the next 33 years, I went through life leaning on my sisters and my parents best friend. If I find out it's true, I don't know what the next step is. His son's may not like the new family member anymore. I write as a witness to your life changing situation. For the rest of your years, what are you going to carry? It seems grace is almost a necessity, it comes from outside of ourselves, and it can shatter dark decisions of the past. Isn't it crazy that they all seem to try to recover by saying 'you had a good life' almost llike we Are ungrateful. We have to remember that they are not the victim, we are. I do agree that things were different back then and people were looked down upon for these situations and she probably did do what she felt was right for herself and me.

Afterall, my sisters were grown and married then and my dad's best friend had known my parents long before I was born and we had spent many holidays and vacations with him and his family. They are the ones that should be saying I'm sorry to us daily for the rest of their lives if that is what it takes to heal. "I did what I thought was best" or "you had a good life". Sometimes I feel like I am being to harsh towards her when I already know the truth and considering her cancer.

It's been about a month since the "revealing" DNA test came back, and 3 weeks since my mom admitted the truth. Thank you, T Hi, I just wanted to reach out to you. I, too, am wondering why the older folks just didn't tell us the truth.

I'm glad you have found each other, though, but give yourself time to process "the roller coaster" of emotions.

Hi, In re: your comment to Tricia about the men keeping the secret for the woman, I keep thinking that , too!