“If I do come home before planned, I’ll text first or make a lot of noise.While we do like to meet each other’s partners and we often become friends, it’s important to give a sense of privacy, too,” explains Turner. And sex, says Turner, is only one part of the lifestyle.It sounds so minor, but talking through those issues makes a big difference,” says Turner.

“I’ll think of the week, and be like, OK, when do I want a sleepover with my boyfriend?

It’s not necessarily spontaneous.” And Stryker admits it’s not for everyone.

“It’s different for everyone, but for me, it’s essential that everyone get along.

It avoids a lot of clashing when everyone can directly communicate.”Stryker jokes that polyamory is “a romantic relationship that works for people who like spreadsheets,” adding that there’s a lot of planning to make sure everyone is on the same page.

Stryker, the coeditor of , says that couples who may be intrigued try starting slow.

“Even seeing your partner platonically cuddling someone else, what does that mean or bring up for you? “I think taking small steps to open up a relationship, and frequently checking in with each other, is key.”Cleveland When Page Turner and her first husband decided to open their marriage over a decade ago, they had a frank heart-to-heart, realizing that the decision may cost them their marriage.

“To me, polyamory isn’t something practiced by a couple, but practiced by individuals,” says Lindgren.

“Swinging and certain types of open relationships center around a couple.

The emotional check-ins can make polyamory more labor intensive, emotionally, than traditional monogamous relationships, Turner explains. “I think there’s this assumption that you’re having sex all the time, but just like a monogamous relationship, it depends on what’s going on in your life.

For example, during my heaviest dating period, I was dating three men and two women.

And I was having sex less than I am now, with a husband and dating a woman! San Francisco The couple, who cohost the Multiamory podcast, tend to date different partners but have had a few partners they simultaneously dated.