” Friends of mine were setting one another up on dates but not me.It makes such an obvious statement—that no one would ever find me attractive because of my weight.I didn’t gain a freshman 15, I gained a freshman 50.

In light of yesterday’s controversial piece by Maura Kelly, I’m posting a story by Jennifer Abramowitz (as told to me), an amazing plus-size woman who recently spoke openly to me about her experience dating in New York City.

This piece was bought by a national women’s magazine, then killed, and I think now is the time to post it. I’m also a publicist, an extrovert, a bargain-shopper extraordinaire and an unbelievably good friend.

And I’ve been contacted by men on BBW sites who ask me if I’m open to a feeding relationship, which I’m not.

It means they want to be with somebody who likes to eat, who they can feed and would consider gaining a lot of weight. But I think there’s a fine line between someone who’s a fetishist and someone who’s not.

I guess it’s hard to say to somebody, “I have a great girl for you, but she’s fat—are you okay with that? People are image-conscious, and it takes a very secure man to advertise his preference for a woman of size.

No matter how many magazines start featuring plus-size women, in mainstream white culture, a woman who’s heavy isn’t considered as attractive as a woman who’s not.

Some of them were very heavy, but they were married and successful in relationships. I started out on Jdate but worried that maybe people didn’t fully see my body type, even though I never lied or showed a picture that wasn’t me.

Some jerk once IMed and asked, “Are there really guys out there who are attracted to you?

They like the feeling of being with someone who’s bigger than they are and the voluptuousness of another body.

A man approached me on the subway when I was 24 and wanted my phone number desperately. I was once fooling around with someone I’d been out with a few times.

He kept saying over and over, “I think you’re beautiful.” My first instinct was, This is a joke, someone put him up to it—which says a lot about where I was at that point. Experience, age and understanding that a lot of people attracted to me because of (or in spite of) my size takes away some of the nervousness I used to feel on dates. I was trying to move over him, and he said, “Your weight is hurting me.” That brought me back to reality. I was wearing a new outfit and these really hot tights, and in one fell swoop, he brought me down a little bit.