Don’t skimp now on matters that will affect the rest of your life.

The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA™) is the premier national organization dedicated to the certification, education and promotion of the use of financial professionals in the divorce arena.

Before you separate, buy the clothes you’ll need, perform maintenance on the car, and fix the kids’ teeth. Try to obtain copies of all financial records before your divorce begins.

online dating divorce stats-6

Online dating divorce stats video

When your grief is overwhelming, go home or to a friend’s house, not to your attorney, who is billing you at his normal hourly rate. Even if you hope that you will eventually be able to reconcile with your ex, don’t bend over backwards to make it happen. Vow never to worry in the dark—if you can’t sleep, turn on the light, pick up a pencil and paper, and write down your worries.

Make property division decisions based on your own long-term best interest, not out of revenge. Make an effort to bring the divorce to a successful conclusion with as little rancor as possible. Then, you can go back to sleep and deal with them first thing in the morning. Many women put their careers aside to concentrate on their families.

Think about the timing of the separation: Is your husband due a bonus or other windfall in the near future?

Don’t separate until after it arrives, so it will be community property.

If you have a PHT degree (Putting Honey Through), you might be entitled to some reimbursement for the cost of his tuition. Your attorney may give you legal advice, but all of the decisions are ultimately up to you. Try to be as dispassionate and businesslike as possible. Going through a divorce can sometimes make you feel like the captain of a leaky boat on stormy seas—there seems to be a new crisis at every turn.

View your attorney as a paid professional rather than a friend or confidante. Women tend to be supportive and sensitive to the needs of others, to build bridges, and to “make nice.” These tendencies often get in our way during divorce. You have to insist on getting what you need and deserve. If you don’t, you’ll still be able to take care of yourself financially. Use this time of upheaval to start taking control of your life.

Divorce can trigger all sorts of unsettling, uncomfortable and frightening feelings, thoughts and emotions, including grief, loneliness, depression, despair, guilt, frustration, anxiety, anger, and devastation, to name a few.

There is frequently sadness and grief at the thought of the end of a significant relationship.

Add in the volatile emotions that are frequently associated with divorce and you have a difficult situation indeed.

In this section, we will talk about practical ways that divorcing people can cope with and make the best of their stressful circumstances.

There are really two sides to the divorce process; the human emotional side and the formal legal side.