And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." Men are called to take initiative in finding a wife. It calls for courage, and it contrasts sharply with the life script many American 20-somethings are following today.

If called to marriage — and most men are — they should, when mature and ready, leave their childhood home. It is, however, a far better plan than the cultural one, as the text of Scripture shows. It's most enjoyable not when you kick against it, but when you embrace it and make it a personal challenge to yourself: "Today, how can I possibly grow in character and strength and holiness?

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The Lord God wants you to devote yourself to a real one, a spiritual war between light and darkness.

This is what is exciting and pleasurable: leading a holy life that blesses others. But instead of devoting yourself to them, plan to win a young woman's heart, build a career, and bless a church by joining and serving it for decades.

In doing so, you will find that you are increasingly focused not on yourself, which is the way a kid thinks, but on blessing others, which is the way a man of God thinks.

The most stirring scene in all of human history was not developed by video game programmers or wildly creative engineers.

Like close friendships, this bond places us in the regular position of either denying our sinfulness and sliding into it further, or confessing it daily and experiencing mastery over it by the power of God (see Romans 6:6).

Ideally, marriage grows you, stretches you and changes you.

Still other guys flirt with girls and goof off at the driving range.

Whatever we end up doing, in all of these activities and others, we're doing this: pursuing pleasure. God is the one who created it, not ESPN or movie directors.

It's kind of like your favorite extracurricular activity.