Dating while getting a divorce
"One partner can't do all the trying on his or her own," says Bowman.
"You can't go anywhere like that." A good rule of thumb: If it's been a year with no progress, it may be time to call it quits..
"Marriages that reach this place are toxic—you're no longer civil, and all discourse is either attacking or defending."It may sound hokey, but it's true: In healthily humming-along marriages, both partners work as a team on everything from parenting to running the household to supporting each other in career and personal ambitions.
After the kind of affair a couple can recover from, "there are regrets, apologies, and a promise to put an end to it and seek counseling." Not so with the serial cheater: that's a problem you can't fix, and likely spells the end of your marriage.
There are many areas of compromise in a marriage, such as who is responsible for dealing with the finances, where you should spend the holidays, or how to handle family issues.
But if one of you is absolutely sure you want a child and the other categorically refuses, you're in trouble.
"If someone's close to either side of the will-we-or-won't-we-have-children fence, you can work through it.
"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both of you is spending all your time at work, with friends, online—and if feels like a relief not to be with each other—it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage."Some marriages encounter damaging, seemingly insurmountable problems—such as infidelity, the loss of a close family member, or a long sexual drought—and rebound from them.
But, says Alisa Bowman, author of , if one spouse repeatedly brings up an issue, asks for help, and makes it clear that the marriage will not last unless they both commit to solving it, and the other spouse refuses to go along, the marriage is in trouble.
Infidelity is an enormous hurdle for a marriage to overcome, but just ending the affair is not enough, says Kaye.
For a marriage to fully get past adultery, the unfaithful half of the couple cannot maintain a "friendship" with the former lover.
One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is mutual respect, says Savage.