’ I’m doing JUST FINE UNCLE JERRY; I’ll have you know one of the films I directed won an award at Sundance.

Pass the potatoes, please.” Imaginary dialog: check. Revealing how you earn your living, while avoiding a boring, expected answer: check. Pepper your profile with invitations for conversation, or mention restaurants you’d like to try.

This is basically begging for a list of comma-separated adjectives. So people get sick of glossing over the boring lists.

So, as you have probably figured out, this installment is going to cover writing a profile that will make you stand out in a good way, put the essence of “you” out there, and hopefully not cause enough damage that prince or princess charming will hit the “close” button before any contact has occurred.

I think it only suitable that we show some bad profiles first, and it seems only proper that I start off with Mike Cane’s classic post, the one that he proudly emailed me almost immediately after posting… I will commiserate deeply as you labor in the Corporate Suitpit … while I stay at home and torment myself at a keyboard. Mind you, you must have the house and the fur rug ready … [You must read it on his site with pictures for full effect, of course.] I’m sure it won’t surprise you that I was the one (via email, and then mentioned in the comments section) who said, “but what’s in it for ME? 😉 Writing a good online dating profile shouldn’t be too difficult – especially for someone who writes every day, and yet it’s the part where I got stumped.

Anything that’s playful and unexpected is great, especially if it has a geeky bent and you do too and you want to attract similarly geeky mates.

If you like Piña Coladas And getting caught in the rain If you’re not into yoga If you have half a brain If you’d like making love at midnight In the dunes on the Cape Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for Write to me and escape.

But the philosophy behind Q&A strategy applies to all different sites.

Break the mold; talk like a person; invite conversation; be playful; try to introduce humor.

The pictures you post are supposed to complement the profile, while giving an accurate idea of how you look now – not some fuzzy lighted “Glamor Shot”, and definitely not a picture from 20 years ago.

It seems like this would be an easy enough task to complete, but you might be surprised at how quickly everything can go wrong based on misuse and misunderstanding of these two little features.

Include conversational tics like “haha,” “um,” and “like,” as if you were chatting with friends.