My lovelies: Over here at Maura Kelly Headquarters, we've been alerted to the fact that there's A SERIOUS PROBLEM out there in The Dating World.

dating saying no nicely-21

Instead, I hesitantly say, "Sure." I might also be unable to keep myself from grimacing a bit. and despite my serious reservations, i gave barnaby jepperbook a fair shake.

Then I mention that I'm pretty busy and that we should email to make plans for the next time.2) onthe following day, I WRITE A POLITE NO-THANK-YOU NOTE, saying that while I enjoyed our time together--and while I think he is attractive, interesting, and all the rest--I just did not feel that elusive, ineffable chemistry thing. And sure, in rare cases--as with that one dude went off about how all women are gold-diggers--there is really nothing positive worth saying. In sum, let me just say to the chicks: Guys have feelings too!

Whether you’ve been Houdini, and pulled a disappearing act, gone radio silent, or played the slow fade where you wait longer and longer to respond to someone until you’re blatantly ignoring him or her, the bottom line is, Sometimes there can be an innocent misunderstanding when one person feels a connection and the other has no interest in pursuing it any further.

In this situation, sometimes we assume our date felt the same disconnect.

Stick to things like "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend" (or "I just decided to be exclusive with someone else" if you've already gone out with him but don't want to keep doing so).

And although there's always a danger he'll find out the truth (which is why you should probably just tell it in the first place), don't use that if it's a blatant lie he'll be able to confirm with friends the same day.

This means no excuses that make it seem like dating is still an option in the future. As promised, a few takes on the attraction problem: Would You Date a Guy You Weren't Really Attracted To?

So, don't say things like "I'm really busy this week" or "I'm not ready to date right now," because those can string the guy along to next week or that magical time when you are ready. Ask a Guy: "Should I Date Someone I'm Not Attracted to Because He's a Nice Guy?

A reader recently wrote to ask me if she should turn down a guy she thought was really great but wasn't physically attracted to, and if so, how should she do it without being too harsh?